There are no difficult people
However, there are difficult behaviours. Most people will encounter others whose behaviour they find difficult.
Warning signals alert you that you may have problems in coping with these difficult characters as a result of previous experience with unpleasant or unsociable behaviour.
But be careful!
We all make generalisations as a way of drawing conclusions based on limited experience. We make generalisations about people we say ‘oh he’s always late ‘ or ‘she never contributes to a meeting’, which may or may not be true in reality.
Putting people into categories “us” and “them” helped humans develop tribes, clans, and social structures.. “Us” and “them” thinking still continues.
We tend to like people who are similar to us while avoiding people who are different. In many ways, this is understandable. It’s often comfortable to be among people who are like us, and identifying similar traits can provide a sense of belonging. But when we avoid others who are different, we tend to deny ourselves the opportunity to learn about them. When we don’t really know what people are like, it’s easy to make guesses, fill in the blanks, and make generalisations about “them” based on very limited knowledge. In short, we make judgement about others based on limited information and before we know the full story.
In reality There Are No Difficult People since it is not the person that is difficult but aspects of the behaviour of that person.
By separating and isolating the tiny aspects of difficult behaviour from the person manifesting them, you are minimising the issue and will be able to cope with the behaviour while at the same time being supportive to the person in question.
Take a look at our respond to conflict with confidence workshop
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